Transness.org

Exploring Gender Identity

Suicide – Not A Choice

on March 26, 2010

Transition can get to be overwhelming at times which can lead a person to look for an escape.  The pain gets too great and the options get too few, so what’s a person to do?  Suicide thoughts creep in and suddenly thoughts of death (escape) become overwhelming.  It seems so easy, a few too many pills or the slice of a knife in the right spot or one pull of a trigger. 

Let me assure you there is nothing to escape from.  Suicide is not the answer you seek.  What I will tell you is that those feelings are stemming from isolation and fear.  There are always options!  In some strange way, feeling like suicide is actually an option can be comforting.  Just keep it as option “Z”.  I like to list my options for remedying my situation from A to Z, which gives me 26 options to choose from and reaching option “Z” is very unlikely.  Just knowing that you have that many options is comforting.

Talk to someone who can relate to your situation.  Share your thoughts and feelings with someone who cares.  Ask for other options that maybe you cannot see.  If for some reason you cannot find someone who cares, which is not unusual in this situation, talk to God, Holy Spirit, Allah, Buddha, Great Spirit, Goddess, or whichever Deity you relate to.  By sharing your troubles the burden you feel is lifted. 

Shifting your viewpoint will help you move beyond your feelings of hopelessness.  Embrace whatever change is knocking at your door.  Welcome it in and see how you can best participate in this transition.  An “I can” attitude or “I can, with help” attitude will go a long way to moving you beyond the depressive state you are in.  Allowing others to help you is part of the give and receive cycle that life runs on, when we withdraw from this cycle our life stops flowing and depression sets in.  Getting back into the flow of giving and receiving will help to alleviate any thoughts of suicide. 

When other people’s happiness becomes more important than your own the dark veil of depression will lift and the light of Joy will re-visit your life.  Caring about others in a healthy balanced way every day will assure that suicide thoughts never visit you again. 

Something that I realized when I was holding the barrel of a 357 in my mouth many years ago, I am being very selfish!  I am not hurting myself, instead I am hurting those I Love and those who Love me.  I could see them crying and I could feel the pain I would have brought into this world.  I asked myself, do I want to be the problem or the cure?  In that instant healing began and I put down the gun never to return to that point again. 

If those thoughts of suicide return and they have, all I do is remind myself that there are people who love me and hurting them is not the kind of person I choose to be.  I am alive because I have a gift to share with the world and when my time comes I will gladly go. 

“Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you’re alive, it isn’t.”
Richard Bach

 

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: