Transness.org

Exploring Gender Identity

Guilty by Association

on April 9, 2010

Our thoughts are more powerful than we know and one of the principles which can assist us on our transition is “guilt by association”.   When you are aware of this principle you can use it to your advantage instead of suffering its consequences. 

This principle works by proximity, be it thought or physical location.  Whomever or whatever we associate with we become like.  The reason for this is we learn from our surroundings and the behavior of those we spend time with.  This learning is unintentional most of the time, however when used constructively it can be very powerful.  The concept of apprenticeship works this way.  When we wish to learn something new the best way is to find a teacher who can show you the “ropes”. 

For instance, a person transitioning from male to female will benefit from being around other MtoF transsexuals and other women.  You may have heard the expression, “hanging out with persons of like mind”, which is precisely what we are discussing here.  This concept can be used in a variety of ways. 

For those who desire to start their own business, finding others who are in that business to associate with will make their likelihood of success so much greater.  Or if you are quitting smoking then you will want to stay away from other smokers and places that are associated with smoking like the bar or buddies who smoke. 

You may remember stories of gangs like “West Side Story” or “Boyz in da Hood” and if you hang out with a particular group then you are guilty by association!  Be careful the groups you hang out with and make sure you wish to be like them.  This goes in every situation whether it is on the playground, at church or at work.  I suggest hanging with people you want to be like, so if you desire to be successful then hang with successful people.  If you like art then hang out with artists, take classes in art, collect art, go to art parties.  This process should be fun when you are using it consciously. 

To close my discussion of this principle I will make a gentle warning.  If you associate with people who like to “raise a ruckus” like activists for example, then do not be surprised if you get more attention than you like.  Things can quickly go from fun to being arrested for disturbing the peace or worse.  If you see things going too far it is up to you to decide it is enough and put a stop to it.  The best method is to simply leave.  Just be aware of who you are and who you are hanging out with and ask yourself, is this who I am? 

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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