Transness.org

Exploring Gender Identity

Self Identity

on June 8, 2010

For those with Gender Identity issues understanding who you are is indeed a life long journey.  When you ask that profound question of “who am I?”, take a few minutes and feel the answer.  You may hear words, but instead of listening, simply feel. 

You are the only person who can truly know who you are.  No one can tell you although they may try.  This blog is about the journey of discovery in which one explores the inner depths of their own psyche and beyond.  As you may remember from earlier blogs, the mind is simply a tool used to interface with this environment, it is not who you are! 

Neither is the body “who you are”.   The body is simply a vessel which carries us about and to experience this world in which we live.  Our body has 5 senses, our mind has 6 and together they make up a complex system of collecting information about life.  Being human is all about the experience of life from every perspective and aspect.  So what does it mean to be a woman or a man?

This is the question that leads many gender variant individuals to therapy.  The odd thing is that most people would simply say “this is who I am” while looking in the mirror at their body, and really have no clue as to whether they feel like a man or woman!  You feel the way you do, so how do you know that is like a man or woman?  Who decided those parameters? 

The transgender journey is largely about accepting who you are, how you feel and the behaviors you are compelled to participate in.  Part of identity is self expression and this is often not a conscious decision, although sometimes it is.  For a man to have the desire to wear pantyhose or other woman’s clothing can be very confusing and frustrating.  The idea of being a woman trapped in a man’s body for me seemed absurd.  This question depends on how you define self. 

You are you and the rest is simply how you are experiencing the world.  The choice is yours how you experience the world and yet it is NOT.  It is like you have made the choice to get on a particular train (born male, female or intersex) and now you are having that experience.  The current choice comes in your attitude about the ride.  Are you going to enjoy it?  Will you jump off the train?  Will you feel sorry for yourself because you choose the “wrong” train?  Have you ever started on a trip and then forget where you were going before you got there?  Then you end up standing in the middle of the sidewalk wondering how you got there?  This happens more than we are willing to admit, especially in life’s journey. 

The next step is to choose again and move on with a renewed vigor for our new goal.  Happy to just be alive!  Paying attention to every little feeling and thought.  Not judging them but just noticing them and using them as a guide to our next step.  …Row…Row…Row…your…boat…gently…down…the…stream

🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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