Transness.org

Exploring Gender Identity

Giving Therapy

on June 12, 2010

The transition journey can be long and lonely at times and one of the best therapies I have discovered is giving.  I will call this Giving Therapy and it is good for the soul.  One of the most basic principles we all should know by now is if you want something, give it away!

Ok, so this maybe giving from a different perspective, however I think you are going to love this once you understand what I speak of.  The first question that comes to mind is how can I give away something I do not have?  This is the materialistic point of view and one that we have all experienced at some time or another. 

The principle works like this.  Give what you do have and work up from there.  Work from your desires and give what you want.  Say for instance that you are craving love and affection, then you should be giving love and affection to others.  Not forcing it on them of course.  Focusing on your successes is imperative in this practice, because if you focus on your rejections then you will be setting yourself up for more rejection.  By focusing on what you desire and helping others get it, then through the law of attraction you get it. 

The same principle works for money.  If per chance you do not have much money, then you simply help others get it!  The important thing to remember here it is not about you.  In the process of helping others we help ourselves. “It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson). 

The benefits of giving are immense and start with a feeling of satisfaction.  This feeling makes you feel warm in your heart and it flows out all over your body.  Even small gestures such as giving the homeless person on the corner a dollar brings warmth, giving is circular.  It is best not to hold the conscious thought that if I help this person they will help me or God will favor me.  This is very archaic thought and simply does not work.  Giving for the sake of giving and giving from the heart not the mind works. 

Make a habit of it and it becomes easier.  Just remember to push your established limits from time to time.  It is easy to get in the habit of giving at church every week and then forget about all the other opportunities we have all week.  In this authors opinion one of the best gifts is something that cannot be gotten from any other place.  Love, Hugs, Attention, Gratitude, Acknowledgement, and Compliments rank up there as the most valuable gifts that can be given or received.  Material gifts can also be valuable when they serve the needs of the recipient. 

Putting thought into your gift so that the recipient can use the gift shows that you care and that you know them which in itself is a gift.  Another way to give is to offer your services or simply do things for another.  This can be simple like making breakfast for your partner or friend.  Making sure chores are done so they do not have to do this (this is a great way for a child to show their parents they love them).  Courteous gestures such as buying gas for the car you are borrowing, cleaning up after yourself when using public space (or any space really), and allowing others to go ahead of you in the line. 

The options for giving are endless and the benefit is that you feel better and won’t be worrying about your challenges anymore.  Caring for others is the fastest way to move beyond your own personal transition challenges.  Love is the answer every time.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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