Transness.org

Exploring Gender Identity

Modeling Your Environment

on August 6, 2010

Our thoughts are more powerful than we know and one of the principles which can assist us on our transition is “guilty by association”.   When you are aware of this principle you can use it to your advantage instead of suffering its consequences. 

This principle works by proximity, be it thought or physical location.  Whomever or whatever we associate with we become like.  This is why children often go into the professions their parents where in.  Growing up with physician parents or farmer parents greatly increases the likelihood of the child going into a similar field.  In fact I believe this is one reason why we chose the parents that we did.  Our birth families expose us to the elements that we need to grow, and it matters not if that environment is harsh or served with a silver spoon.  All situations have advantages and disadvantages. 

We learn from our surroundings and the behavior of those we spend time with.  This learning is unintentional most of the time, however when used constructively it can be very powerful.  The concept of apprenticeship and internship works this way, as does immersion learning.  When we wish to learn something new the best way is to find a teacher who can show you the “ropes”.  Volunteer if you have to, but get into the environment in which you would like to be working or be like.  If you desire to be a millionaire then hang out with them!  The same goes for drug dealers or prostitution, if you are hanging with those types you will be like those types.  You may have heard the saying “if you want to know who you are, simply look at your friends”. 

This same principle will benefit a transsexual person transitioning from male to female.  If you desire to be the woman you feel yourself to be, hang out with women.  Study their behavior and mannerisms so that you can immolate them.  How do they speak, walk, laugh, flirt, sit, interact with each other, interact with the opposite sex?  Children do this instinctively from birth, however a transsexual has been programmed in the opposite and must unlearn the rearing lessons on gender behavior and learn the new behavior.  Basically the MtoF releases their male persona (no longer identifies with it) and then allows the female persona to emerge (identifying as woman).  Some will have picked up pieces along the way because of innate feelings guiding them.  It really depends on how strict the environment was in which they were raised. 

For those who desire to start their own business, finding others who are in that business to associate with will make their likelihood of success so much greater.  Or if you are quitting smoking then you will want to stay away from other smokers and places that are associated with smoking like the bar or buddies who smoke. 

You may remember stories of gangs like “West Side Story” or “Boyz in da Hood” and if you hang out with a particular group then you are guilty by association!  Be careful the groups you hang out with and make sure you wish to be like them.  This goes in every situation whether it is on the playground, at church or at work.  I suggest hanging with people you want to be like, so if you desire to be successful then hang with successful people.  If you like art then hang out with artists, take classes in art, collect art, go to art parties.  This process will be fun when you are using it consciously. 

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Advertisements

2 responses to “Modeling Your Environment

  1. Bonnie York says:

    It’s not all just about our actions either.

    Words have meaning. Not only do words have meaning, they shape our environment in monumental ways.

    I wish you well on your journey.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: