Transness.org

Exploring Gender Identity

Sadness Is Natural

on January 11, 2011

Many people avoid feeling sad or think that it is wrong or somehow not good to feel sad.  Get this idea out of your head right now.  Without sad you cannot have happy.  The two go hand in hand, meaning one cannot exists without the other. 

When a loss is experienced the natural reaction is sadness.  This goes for any transition, be it a loss, a graduation, moving away, divorce, breaking up, etc.  Allow yourself to feel sad.  It is OK and in fact if you do not allow your feelings to express these emotions become blocked just like trees in a river.  Over time a pond develops or an area of excess emotion which throws the whole system off.  Outlets develop and they do help to relieve the pressure, however they are not complete balance.  Imagine a stream flowing into a pond and a small outlet draining the excess to one side or the other.  Until the blockage is removed that area will not function at full capacity. 

All this because you where afraid of a little pain that comes with feeling sad, or maybe you were avoiding the stigma that comes with sadness.  You don’t want anyone to feel sorry for you.  This too is natural.  It is natural to feel compassion for your fellow man/woman.  To deny them this opportunity is again blocking the flow. 

It is not sympathy that is desired, but empathy.  Sympathy is joining someone at their level, sort of like buying into their drama, this only adds to the situation and does nothing to help remedy it.  Empathy comes from an honest feeling of compassion for the person, not the situation.  Instead of feeding into the drama you are sending Loving energy to the person so they may lift themselves out of the drama.  We all have drama so please do not shy away from feeling the emotions associated with it, no matter what side of the equation you find yourself on. 

One last note on Sadness, being sad is the opposite of happiness so we are either one or the other and can vacillate back and forth fairly quickly.  Do not associate happy with Joy.  It is possible to feel Joy while you are sad or happy.  Joy is a space that always exists just as Peace and Love exists always and in all ways.  These feelings are the presence of God that makes you who you are.  In other words, Joy, Peace and Love are the essence of your being and exist always.  Sadness and Happiness are temporary, so use this knowledge to your benefit.  If you are feeling sad, then allow that feeling to flow through you and it will be gone rather quickly.  Happiness is a choice which you can make at any time.  With practice choosing to be happy in every situation is certainly achievable. 

When a big event comes into your life like the loss of a parent or child, destruction of your home or loss of a job, allow yourself to feel sad, it is the natural thing to do!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     Discover Sex and Sexuality click here

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2 responses to “Sadness Is Natural

  1. Love this post! Your words are so perfect; I have tried to express this idea before but love how you did it. I loved it so much I posted you on Facebook!

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