Transness.org

Exploring Gender Identity

The Art Of Detachment

on January 26, 2011

Transition is often a long drawn out process that occurs over years, although it can seem like it happens quickly.  When you are aware of the nuances you can see that some aspects of transition take a lifetime.  Allowing the process to evolve and progress with conscious thought enhances and speeds things along. 

The art of detachment is a Buddhist technique and also has its Christian counterpart.  Please do not get caught up here in labels though.  I offer these names in hopes of relating with you.  It is up to you how you use this technique.  All I can tell you is that it has helped me immensely. 

The technique works like this; be in the world but not of it.  Jesus taught this and likely learned it from the Buddhist teachers he had.  What this means is to fully experience life and at the same time release any attachment you have to it.  It is very simple once fully understood, however getting to this point can sometimes take years or even lifetimes.  I pray this blog assists you in the process.

As you are fully immersed in your life understand that everything is a reflection of who you are, this is why you are drawn to it.  The partner you love so much is a reflection of who you are, but they are not you.  The town you were born in, the town you grew up in or the town you fell in love with is a reflection of who you are, but it is not where you are. Your favorite drinking cup, diamond earrings, dream car, childhood football and all the things you are attached to for sentimental reasons are a reflection of who you are, however they are not what you are.  Embracing these facts is the first step in the art of detachment. 

Allowing yourself to fully love a person, place or thing while not becoming attached to it is the goal.  Understand that you are both connected and separate from everything in life.  Not being attached means being able to give it to someone else.  It can also mean being able to walk away from it without feeling you have lost anything.  Through the principle of Oneness you realize that everyone and everything is of the One, a drop from the sea of life.  Giving this drop (person, place or thing) away is empowering both to you, the receiver and whatever is being given.  

If however you think of this process as a loss, the actual power is being held onto and the effect is disempowering.  So even if the person, place or thing is long gone, until you consciously or unconsciously give it away you remained attached to it and thus disempowered.  When you long for something you experienced before this can be nostalgic which society teaches as a good thing.  In reality nostalgia is disempowering.  Each experience is unique and a gift that cannot be repeated.  Living in the past is not living at all. 

When you love the experience in the now, laughing, appreciating, and engaging life – this is living.  Being able to move on to the next experience without missing people, places, and things of the past is the art of detachment.  You can experience these things again any time you like and this is why many people will live in the same town all their life, or drink coffee or go for walks, or anything you love.  This is why certain things keep coming into your life; they are a reflection of who you are in that moment.  You do things because you love the experience (the feeling you get).  What you are getting is an experience of yourself! 

Just understand that each moment is unique and you can change your mind.  If for some reason you decide you do not love coffee then you can choose something else, tea for instance.  But you must replace it with something because if you don’t a feeling of emptiness seeps in and it can often be hard to figure out what that feeling is all about.   The third option is to remain detached and receptive.  Open to all the gifts life has to offer.  Fully experience that which is offered and when you are done move on without attachment.  Of course you will still respect and love the people, places and things you left, but without attachment.  I think of it this way, use it as long as you need it and then pass it along to someone else to enjoy.  Can you imagine the world we would live in if no one was attached and we could freely pass from one experience to the next in full Joy and expression of our true nature?  Love is the way…

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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