Transness.org

Exploring Gender Identity

The Truth About Bullies

on May 22, 2012

We have been hearing much about bullying in the schools and elsewhere recently.  It is being blamed for suicide, criminal behavior, and general pain and suffering.  Once you understand what is going on, the blaming can stop and the healing can begin.

Bullying is a vicious cycle that is handed down from generation to generation, by individuals who simply are not aware of what they do.  They are generally more concerned about themselves than they are about others.  Yes, I speak of the parents who in their struggle to survive, ignore their children and sometimes even abuse them.  Bullying is something that must be learned and it is often a byproduct of neglect and abuse.

Looking closer it is something we can all relate to, even those who grew up in loving supportive families.  Why is this?   I mean if bullies are from broken homes, how can an average child relate to this?  There must be more to this than meets the eye!

The fact is we all have to deal with bullies to some degree because it is a rite of passage!  Not that it is required, however we all have egos and part of growing up is facing the ego.  The Oneness Principle that I speak so often about dictates that there is only one, so everyone you meet is a reflection of you or an aspect of you.  Some people refer to this as meeting your dark side.  (You will find whatever you are looking for, i.e. expecting)

Have the courage to stand your ground while not stooping to the bully’s level.  Fighting only makes it worse, whether you use fists, words, or other retaliations.   What you give is what you receive!  Do onto others as you would have done to you.  If someone bullies you, calls you bad names, hits you, harasses you, etc. then your re-action will determine the outcome.

First of all understand they have probably endured the very same thing and are simply passing it along.  They are in pain also, and are venting in the only way they know how.  It is a compensation behavior designed to feel better, but unfortunately it only makes the pain worse.  Oh, it may work temporarily to relieve the pain by giving it to someone else, but since this is a circle it only comes back!  And usually it has picked up momentum and hurts worse.  It can be a dead end street that leads to drastic places, like prison, and suicide for both the bully and the “victim”.

There are no victims my friends, only volunteers!  The victim mentality is of the ego and serves to prove its existence.   There is no enemy here, not even the ego!  This is very important to understand.  There is only you!  The answer is Love, Self -Love ultimately, but it can start by loving others, including the bully.

Even if you cannot forgive the bully at first, simply withhold judgment or any action and know they simply are crying out for love and do not understand what is really going on.  No action is necessary, but if you feel the need then stand up for yourself and seek assistance from someone in authority, a teacher, parent, policeman, counselor, or adult friend.  Maturity is what the situation demands.  Talking about the situation can be a great relief.  Understand that you are not alone.  Seek and ye shall find.  Remember the bully needs more help than you do!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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