Transness.org

Exploring Gender Identity

Being the Observer

on November 6, 2013

The best advice I ever heard was to become the observer, to actually listen to what I say and observe my actions, then ask why.  Is this the person I desire to be?  This may be who I am now, but do I really wish to be this person?  Discovering who you are is a constant evolution, because you are constantly changing.  As you expand there is a give and take or an ebb and flow to the process.  The more you learn and discover about life in general and about how this relates to you the more you expand, the more you become more!

Think about this carefully.  Who am I?  Who are you in relation to who I am?  You do know this is all relative? Don’t you?  You do realize everything is connected in some way? Once you realize there is no separation; only the illusion of separation, your world changes for the better.  If this is still not apparent right now this is OK.  Keep asking questions and it will come to you.

On to some more practical applications and exercises you can use right now to facilitate your growth and expansion.  First of all open up.  Open your mind, open your heart, open your eyes and see, feel, and think with no limits (or at least let the limits go as you can, it is a process after all).  Listen to the words you use and notice how they make you feel, also notice how they make others feel, so if both of you are not feeling good then perhaps you could choose different words to express yourself.  In expressing yourself how does this affect the world around you?  Is it positive or negative, constructive or destructive?  Not to say this is good or bad, don’t fall for this trap.  Things are how they are, and you are the way you are, no good or bad to it, however you do have a choice in the matter.  Question everything, especially your motive for being the way you are.  Avoid judgment here.  Remember, we all desire Love, this is who we are and sometimes the loving thing to do is destructive or negative depending on the situation.  In order for the old to be replaced it must be destroyed first.  To build a new building the old one is removed to clear the way for the new one.  As humans we can only see a small fraction of the picture or situation so each choice we make is the best we can do given the information we have at the time.

Moving on, consider having a friend video you during an activity or perhaps you could set up a camera in your home to video the daily goings on, later reviewing the tape is incredibly insightful.  Be compassionate with yourself and seek only to understand who you are and decide if this is who you desire to be.  Recording your voice and word choice is also very insightful.  The language you use is very powerful or destructive depending on your word choice.  Curse words for instance are weak and destructive to the person using them, not necessarily to the one hearing them.  The person hearing these words can decide in advance to forgive the user and thus discharge any negative energy the words carry.  It is like Hate is a poison for the person hating, not the target of the hate.  Negative emotions are necessary at times, but must be used carefully to balance energy or to diffuse a situation, never for attacking.  Lashing out is a re-action not a deliberate action taken for a specific purpose.  Think before you act, wait a day and then respond.  Negative emotion can be transformed to the positive when you have this intention.

Another practice which is ingrained in the mass psyche is the use of the word “try or trying”.  To try is to fail.  The word implies doubt and this in itself is disempowering.  State your intentions and then proceed with them.  “Trying” is a word we use to protect our self from being “wrong or failing” and in the process it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Perhaps you can say I attempted XYZ but it did not work out that way.  I will make another attempt.  Or I will succeed eventually.  There is nothing wrong with failing; it always leads to success as long as you keep at it.  The error lies in the need to be right!

Remember to always question reality and your place in it, while being forgiving and loving to both yourself and others.  If you wish to learn more about word usage, I suggest doing your own research and testing your findings.  Learning is doing!  The website below as well as the free eBooks are another great source of musings.   Blessings on your Journey of Love ♥

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

Unity in Gender Diversity               Free eBooks

 

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