Exploring Gender Identity

Personal Identity Chart


Physical Sex

Gender Identity

Gender Expression

Sexual Orientation

Sexual Pleasure






Intersex Male

Gender Queer Masculine

Mixed Masculine








Intersex Female

Gender Queer Feminine

Mixed Feminine








The way this works is simple. Each column signifies an aspect of identity and each row is an aspect of that aspect. The total of five aspects make up the person’s identity, so each person is one of each of the five choices below this. So for example, the average cisgender female will identify as Female, Woman, Woman, Heterosexual, and Straight. A transgender man or transman would identify as female, man, man, and one each of the last two columns. Each person self identifies, so it is not assigned by anyone else. Any combination is possible and they may change, especially the Sexual Pleasure and Gender Expression categories. Least likely to change are Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation, which are fixed at birth although I have seen some people attempt to change these, or they were not honest with themselves in the first place. There are no absolutes only tendencies or probabilities if you will. An object in motion tends to stay in motion, meaning the more fixed you see yourself and practice, the more true it becomes. This also works in reverse, the more fluid you see yourself and practice, the more true it becomes. There is no good or bad, only experience. The experience can bring pain, discomfort, pleasure, or joy. Perhaps this could be a sixth column.

The categories could be seen as a spectrum; however this tends to imply a linear reality, so I will suggest you see them as a continuum instead.   You may come up with different terms or categories and this is perfectly valid.  The purpose of this chart is to make your life clearer and deepen the understanding of “you”.  A directory of terms is listed below if you are unfamiliar with certain meanings.  Use this as a tool for self-discovery and as a way to increase joy in your life.  It can also help to bring you closer to your partner and if you have no partner, find one that fulfills you. 

 Defining Terminology

Androgynous – The absence of gender or a mixture of both traits to result in a neutral appearance.  This is an appearance or presentation chosen by the individual. 

Asexual – Indicates lack of interest in sexual activity. 

BDSM –  An erotic preference and a form of personal relationship involving the consensual use of restraint, intense sensory stimulation, and fantasy power role play. The acronym BDSM combines bondage and discipline (B&D or B/D), dominance and submission (D&S or D/s), and sadism and masochism (S&M or S/M). BDSM includes a wide range of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures.

Bisexual – Sexual attraction to both men and women.

Feminine – The traits of a woman such as soft, curvy, voluptuous, attractive, receptive, subtle, gentle, and serene.  This energy is slow moving and emotional.  It is equated with the Yin in Eastern Philosophy.  This term can be somewhat ambiguous and depends on use, location, and nationality of user.  It can be referred to as a feeling or an appearance. 

Fetish – An object or bodily part whose real or fantasized presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression. For instance, if you’re attracted to brunettes, that’s one thing, but if you are unable to get aroused unless you’re with a brunette, then you likely have a fetish.

Gay – A man who is attracted to other men.  Sometimes used to refer to women who are attracted to women.  See “Homosexual”

Gender Fluid – Someone who is gender fluid identifies as both male and female and shifts back and forth in varying degrees of masculine and feminine or other.

Gender Expression – How a person expresses their gender identity which can include manner of dress, speech patterns and pitch, movement, and mannerisms.

Gender Identity – How a person views internal identity with regard to gender. Gender identity includes how individuals feel about their physical body and their societal roles, expectations, and behaviors.  Separate and different from an individual’s physical sex or sexual orientation (hetero, homo, bi, or asexual), it is an individual’s perception of the inner self as man, woman, or some combination of both – transgender.

Gender Queer – A person who “bends” the socially accepted “rules” of gender presentation.  A gender identity other than man or woman. People who identify as gender queer may think of themselves as being both man and woman, as being neither man nor woman, or as falling completely outside gender boundaries.  Some people object to the term and connotation around “queer”. Often used as a catchall term for anyone not fitting into gender roles, and feels like they do not fit the other terms.   

Gender Role – The part played by a person in a particular social setting, influenced by expectation of what is appropriate. Expectations are changing as society grows and are becoming more universal and nondescript. 

Heterosexual – A person who is attracted to the opposite sex or gender.

Homosexual – A person who is attracted to the same sex or gender. 

Intersex – An individual born with male and female sexual organs or parts of both.  Historically called hermaphrodite, however this term is no longer in use.

Kinky – Involving or given to bizarre or deviant sexual behavior. Such as sexually provocative clothing in an unusual way.

Lesbian – A woman who is attracted to other women, see “Homosexual”.

Man – A person who presents themselves as “male” or a male gender role.  Some FtoM transgender and transsexual individuals see themselves as a man in a female body.

Masculine – The traits of a man, such as strong, hard, angular, rough, aggressive, and active.   This energy is often fast moving and less emotional than the feminine.  It is equated with the Yang in the Eastern Philosophies.  This is an often ambiguous term that can be either a feeling or an appearance.

Neuter – Referring to one who has neither female nor male primary sex characteristics, sometimes used to mean androgynous. 

Pansexual – A sexual orientation characterized by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love, and/or sexual desire for people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex.  A term intended to negate the idea of two genders.

Straight – Describes a person who does not participate in “dangerous” activities such as drugs, alcohol, sex trade, deviant sex, or criminal activity.

Unisex – Clothing, behaviors, thoughts, feelings, relationships, etc. that are considered appropriate for members of both genders/sexes.

Woman – A person who identifies and presents themselves as a “female” or a female gender role.  Some MtoF transgender and transsexual individuals see themselves as a woman in a male body.

%d bloggers like this: