Oneness Ministry

We are One

Evo-lution

Transness.org is the evolution of my experience as being transgender. The journey consciously began sometime in the 70’s around the time I went through puberty, though I can vaguely remember questioning my gender around the age of 4 or 5 when I played show and tell with a neighborhood girl. Why didn’t I look like that?

In the book Sex and Sexuality I share my autobiography and discuss gender and sexuality. The topic has been confusing and intriguing over the years. Reviewing my progress through identity continues to be informative and entertaining. As I sit here now looking back 50+ years later I still have not arrived at a definitive answer. I created transness.org as a way to help others and thereby help myself. Recently I have been debating on what comes next. Where do we go from here? I am happy with things for the most part. Here is what I have learned so far.

Hormones are incredibly powerful and are not to be taken lightly. Many of us are taking hormones unknowingly in the foods we eat and the chemicals we expose ourselves to. Perhaps this is what starts the questioning process. I also know our environment comes through us and not at us. It is not separate. Like the set in a play it’s all connected. Or should I say projected. So you want to be the opposite gender, then just take this hormone and voila.

Sex is fixed in this life experience. The way you are born is the way it is. I know I have said differently at several occasions. I was spouting what I was told. I now know differently, not because it is a fact, but because I have tested the hypothesis and arrived at an answer. All the spiritual teachings say the same. Physical sex cannot be changed no matter what we do to our bodies. There are no exceptions only really good illusions.

It is important to understand the difference between sex and gender. Gender is a mental construct. A perceived set of rules we live by. Gender is man made. Sex on the other hand is nature made. (notice I did not say God made, because God has nothing to do with this world) Think of your life as a story. Once upon a time, a boy was born. The story sets the stage. Another story may be written but this story is fixed. I was born male and will always be till I die and another story is written. Now we can alter the course of the story, but the stage is set.  In the early days, men played the female roles, so this is nothing new. Basic factors or laws are written that we all must follow. Study screen writing if you would like a good example of human lives in general. This tangent could fill a book and it has, however let’s get back to the topic of this blog.

Transitions Blog has 548 posts so far. That is a lot of words even if I do attempt to keep my blogs between 500-1000 words. Not to mention the 4 eBooks I have written. Has all this writing served its purpose? I will say Yes. Writing helps me process my thoughts and clarify my ideas. I recommend it to anyone attempting to understand their journey. The question that has been popping up a lot for me lately is should I remove Transness.org and just focus on OnenessMinistry.info? I had the two combined at one point, perhaps that is best? We are Spiritual Beings after all. Transgender is just one expression of being human. It is a way of relating to the world. I believe it is an evolved way of seeing life from both sides at the same time. Ultimately there is no male/female or man/woman, these are just dualistic view points. Transgender to me is between dualism and monism. It is the process of monism viewing dualism. Oneness observes dualism and knows sameness, contrary to appearances. Transgender is NOT about being on one side of the bus and moving to the other side. There are no sides. For this reason I have transitioned transness.org to the next step in evo-lution for me. Being transgender is a footnote in my life’s journey, life goes on, I am who I am. Labels make us small. They shrink us into a box and miss reality completely. How does one label “All there is”?

Sequoia Elisabeth <..>

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Words to the Wise

The life you were given is a gift. Don’t mess it up by thinking you can improve on things. Simply be grateful for what you have and play the cards you are dealt. Of course there is no better teacher than experience. Just be warned, gender transition, unless immediately life threatening, is ill-advised. How does one know when it is necessary? A few pointers are as follows.

Notice the pronouns you use for those who are not human. Do you use “she” for your car or house? Is the bird in the tree a “she”? How about the cute froggy you saw last week? Or are they all “he”? We tend to anthropomorphise all that we see, because ultimately we are projecting self everywhere. You see either yourself or “not me” wherever you look.

Do you dream of yourself as male or female? Can you see yourself in your dreams? Since we are Spirit after all, we have no body in reality so if you don’t see your body in your dreams it means you are closer to the truth. Pay more attention to whom you are attracted to in your dreams. While there is nothing wrong with being homosexual, it is not natural. If you are born female, nothing will change this, not even surgery. All surgery really changes is the game you are playing. While you cannot change who you are, you do have the choice of whether to act on it or not. Much has been written on this and I am taking the Spiritual approach, since we are Spiritual beings after all. The heart loves who it loves, but this does NOT mean you have to act on it. True Love does not discriminate. Attraction is more about polarity than love. Think of yourself has an election or a positron or a neutron and you will be attracted appropriately irregardless of physical form. So this means as long as you are true to your attractions and not form then you are on the right track. You still have a choice whether to act on those attractions or not. Just don’t shame yourself for whatever you choose. Make it all good. The point is furthering your Spirit on its path.

So…The answer is simple, just be yourself, LOL. Who the heck is that!?! If you have the desire to crossdress then do so, don’t be ashamed. It is more normal than you would suppose. No need to “transition” for you are exactly who you are meant to be without any mumbo jumbo about surgery or hormones. My theory is that gender dysphoria occurs in those having past life confusion. See, we are not our bodies or our minds for that matter. We are actors on a stage or characters in a dream. “All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream” Edgar Allen Poe.

Distressing over gender makes the whole dream real and it also makes it impossible to escape. CHT and Surgery are irreversible. So you have dysphoria, join the club! Everyone in this world has it in some form. This is a dream, we are not supposed to be here! We are Not Here!! We are having a delusion!! So you say prove it. LOL I say prove that you are alive! Prove anything beyond a doubt! It is not possible. We simply choose an answer which is acceptable. We play our role!

Having walked this road I can say with confidence that transition is not necessary. Loving yourself for who you are definitely is necessary and this is the crux of the issue. Are you transitioning to fit in or find love outside yourself, by others? I would say 99% of us are looking for love in all the wrong places! Love is found within. Yes, you are a unique person and lovable just the way you are. Whether you wear clothes meant for the opposite gender or not. Whether you are attracted to the opposite gender or not. No matter your circumstance Love is within you and it is yours to share!

Love and Light,

Sequoia Elisabeth

https://onenessministry.info/

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My Life in Re-View

My life in Re-view, so if I had this to do over again there are a few things I would do differently and here they are.

Starting with the largest change in my life, gender transition. I love that I can be who I am now (male woman), but I would not, repeat NOT take CHT. This means no estrogen and no testosterone either. I would have the Orchiectomy done much earlier, I waited too long hoping to have genital reassignment surgery (GRS). I am totally fine without that. I know I am not my gender, so why go to all the trouble to change things. Post op my life is no less empty than it was before. I see now as I stand on the other shore things where fine to start with. Did I have gender dysphoria before, Yes. Do I have it now, Yes, but it is more like body dysphoria. It is uncomfortable to be restricted to a body of either gender. My life is like a fading memory. I don’t even know what “my life” means any more. It seems like life is a collection of habits neither good and nor bad. Just motions we go through because we have accepted a certain role. This to me is what this life is all about. Role Play! None of it is “real”.

This may seem sad to you, but to me it just is and perhaps a wee bit too comfortable. My life now is good, as good as it can be. I have some fabulous memories of good times over the years, especially with my second partner. I screwed up leaving her! Alas, there is no going back now, nor do I want to. I know I am where I need to be. Would things be different if I had not transitioned and stayed with her, yes, but better? Who knows? I had this nagging voice telling me to move on and that to give in to comfort and what I felt as love would only prolong the journey. I was safe. My life now is pushing my limits in small ways and this feels “right”.

Other things I would do differently? Not much. Perhaps I would of pursued Greenhouse management more vigorously and taken some risks to assure that life. Again, I had a comfortable life as a MRI technologist and without motivation to change careers. I do not regret going with my first wife when she started medical school (we considered divorce at that time). I feel my relationship with her is a big success. I was there to help her achieve her goals and I did that. No regrets there. Now that my life as a MRI tech is over, I do feel a bit lost. Growing plants has always been rewarding and I enjoy this as much as anything I have done, so I continue to do this in my own small way. My room is full of terrariums, aquariums, and a paludarium.

Female ForestI see my life easily centered around a greenhouse, growing exotic plants, and keeping fish, etc. This is my dream home! A pond, tropical plants, growing space for exotics and all the life which goes with it, fish, reptiles, amphibians, and beneficial insects. Sounds primal doesn’t it? Perhaps it is and perhaps this represents my connection to Mother Earth. She expresses through me. In the end perhaps I am just too connected to nature to be a human being. From the mystical POV, I would be an “ent”. (look it up if you don’t know what this is). I chose the name “Sequoia” for this very reason. This tree is the largest living thing on earth and is a plant. So inspiring and God knows… I need my inspiration.

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

https://onenessministry.info/

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Insights 2

From the Transgender perspective life begins a new after transition, but this process is not limited to transgender individuals. As I was saying in the previous blog, life is full of “ego” shifts. These shifts are analogous to a person stepping to one side or the other for a better view. Each view builds a more complete picture. My life existed as one mind/body complex to the point of transition and then shifted in such a large way that there is no going back to any part of the previous story. In effect the person I was died quite literally and a new person was born. I even remember grieving that former self. It could be said that he was murdered in order for the new me to exist. However, we are not separate. We are still and always have been one person. Everyone is connected through the One Mind. It is not only transgender individuals who do this though. There are many ways a large shift can occur, for example NDE (Near Death Experience), Divorce, Loss of a loved one, Trauma in many forms, Deep Meditation and/or Ayahuasca experience, etc. All of these can be “ego” deaths without the loss of ones body. I have blogged about death before and make the point that all death is suicide. In effect what is dying is the “ego” or the small self. We need not part with our bodies to do this. Think of a snake who sheds its skin. In fact we too are shedding skin all the time. Our physical form is constantly changing and shifting in small ways. The ultimate death need not occur till such a time arrives. The ego is constantly trying to kill you quite literally. Don’t listen to it!

A transgender transition is simply an experience as all transitions are, so the focus should be on the experience not being transgender or whatever identity is involved. Go deeper. Discover what exactly this means to you. Meditate, contemplate, and do what it takes to explore your inner self. Ask questions without a need for answers. Answers have a way of bubbling up and all we have to do is be aware of them – experience them! To me this is what living is all about… the experience! To further clarify this a few points are critical to understand. Life is not about pain/pleasure, good/bad, or any other duality. There is so much more to life. Seek not to feel good, but to simply feel, making whatever that may be, Ok. Being transgender means experiencing life from the opposite gender perspective than the one society assigned you. The experience will be uniquely yours!

Celebrate this, but don’t project it or expect it of others. Respect others experience of you! Meaning if they hate/attack/abuse you, then they are hating themselves and they have every right to do so. Life is a circle and once you honor this any “persecution” you may experience will end if you truly desire it to. What you experience from others was first given by you at some level (often unconsciously). What you give you receive. The key here is non-judgment. Judge not lest you be judged. Can you see the circle here? To love yourself is to love others. Here I speak of agape love, not sexual love. Know the difference! Animalistic love or sexual love is a part of life and a powerful tool to experience Great Spirit/God if used properly. It is also completely meaningless (often painful) if abused or used improperly. I have only used it properly a few times in this lifetime and that is enough for me. My path is one of understanding the other forms of love and learning to experience agape love. What is your path? Where do you see yourself heading?

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

OnenessMinistry.info

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Insights…Part I

We each have one life, our own. When it is over, the consciousness which makes us, us shifts and never occurs exactly that way again. The person you are born as becomes self aware from about the age of 2-6 years old. This person grows and evolves. In certain cases the person can die without the body’s death. This is in fact what has happen to me and possibly to many of us. The form this takes varies. One could say each of us has a different “story”. There are small ego deaths which change ones path only slightly and there are larger life changing deaths which can never be reclaimed. One could argue that each night we lay down to sleep and awaken the next morning a different person, however slightly that may be. On a conscious level we can be aware of these changes, although this takes focus and attention. When we set our intention to remember and map these changes a pattern can be discerned. I have had this experience. Putting all this into words is so difficult and I am doing my best so bear with me as I attempt to explain.

It is like life has access to only one point in Space/Time, the Now. What is shifting is our perceptions. Consciousness moves, we do not. So many lessons can be taken from this simple knowledge. This evening I had the realization that “I” am finite. When this body dies and consciousness transforms to other expressions it is indeed an end. Not in a bad way, but simply in a lasting way. For instance, Albert Einstein the person will never exist again from my perspective. He died 4/18/1955. His legacy will live on forever or as long as consciousness remains aware of him. There are people who are no longer in consciousness or awareness of anyone, so they indeed no longer exist. Again, this is not good or bad, so don’t think of this on those terms. I guess what I am saying is if you wish to be remembered then you must pass your knowledge to others, share a gift of yourself in whatever form works for you. Write a book, build a bridge, coach a baseball team, love your children, etc. Our gifts to others are indeed gifts to ourselves and to greater consciousness. (Working for money is just that, business, so this does not count as giving. Of course if your work comes from the heart as a gift then you are taken care of in return. Many books have been written on giving/receiving or what some call Spiritual Economics, so I will let you do your own research on this one.)

In my understanding, reincarnation as it is taught does not exist. The difference is that a particular mind/body complex does not recur in any form once it has occurred. There is no “soul” that comes back. There is One soul or One Mind and it knows all there is to know. We each are like a blade of grass in a vast never ending meadow! Each blade exists and then never again repeats exactly the same. Each blade of grass is a Universe on to itself!

Refocusing on the perspective of a Transgender individual like myself. My life existed as one mind/body complex to the point of transition and then shifted in such a large way that there is no going back to any part of the previous story. In effect the person I was died quite literally and a new person was born. I even remember grieving that former self. It could be said that he was murdered in order for the new me to exist. However, we are not separate. We are still and always have been one person. Everyone is connected through the One Mind. Since I don’t like long blogs I will close with this one thought. More in the next blog. We give for the greater good as well as for our own good. Goodness grows Consciousness! And who are we if not the One.

Sequoia Elisabeth

OnenessMinistry.info

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Frog Spirit

A reposting of the following article:

Frog Spirit Animal

By Elena Harris, SpiritAnimal.info Editor

frog totem

The frog as spirit animal or totem reminds us of the transient nature of our lives. As symbol of transition and transformation, this spirit animal supports us in times of change. Strongly associated with the water element, it connects us with the world of emotions and feminine energies, as well as the process of cleansing, whether it’s physical, emotional, or more spiritual or energetic.

Frog Symbolism

The symbolism of the frog appears in many traditions around the globe. This animal is generally associated with the water element and its cleansing attributes. The frog is symbolic of:

  • Cleansing
  • Renewal, rebirth
  • Fertility, abundance
  • Transformation, metamorphosis
  • Life mysteries and ancient wisdom

The frog totem, symbolic of cleansing

It is said that the frog is symbolic of the cleansing. You can call on the frog spirit to support you in clearing negativity and “toxic” energies. The frog being associated with water, it may be a good spirit animal to call for emotional release.

Perhaps it indicates you need to “detoxify and take care of your health differently. Or it encourages you to release your emotions or carefully at how you spend your energy in relationship to others or some matters of concern in your life.

Cleansing might also mean that the frog spirit animal inspires you to renew your perspective or vision. If the frog shows up in your life as a spirit guide, it may encourage you to clear old opinions and beliefs to adopt a new stance or perspective.

The frog spirit animal and rebirth

The frog totem symbolizes the cycles of life, in particular the rebirth stage. Its own journey through life, from tadpole to the adult state, reminds us of the many cycles of transformation and rebirth in our lives.

The symbolism of the frog as animal associated with birth and rebirth can be traced in Ancient Egypt, Ancient Rome and other cultures from antiquity. The frog was a popular symbol for fertility, as well as rebirth or resurrection. For example, in the Ancient Egypt mythology, the frog was associated with resurrection; the Roman Venus, goddess of Love, was often depicted with a frog.

The frog, symbol of transformation

The frog is an amphibian and goes easily from water to earth during its life. By extension, it has been often revered as a symbol of transition. If you see the frog as your animal totem or spirit guide, you may be called to experience change in your life. Those changes might be with regards to how you lead your life and can also be of spiritual nature.

Call on the frog spirit animal to guide you through times of transition and help you smoothly go from one state to the next. It will support your transformation or metamorphosis in a subtle yet powerful way.

The frog spirit, mystery and magic

The ability to go from water to earth is characteristic of the frog. Those who have the frog as a spirit animal or totem might be inclined to walk between planes, whether they are physical, spiritual or emotional, and enjoy playing with the magic of life and nature.

This animal being active at night, it is often seen as the favorite animal of the arts of the dark and witchcraft. By extension, this totem animal is associated with life mysteries and familiarity with the unknown.

The frog totem and the affinity with the water element

In the Native American tradition, the frog is often seen as a rain maker. Many shamanic traditions call the frog in connection to the rain and to control the weather patterns.

Since the frog is strongly associated with the water where she spend a lot of her life, this spirit animal is also connected to moon energy and the moon goddess. The fact that it’s active at night reinforces this association. For those who feel an affinity with the frog as personal totem, you may be at ease with the world of intuition, feminine energies, and the magic of nature and the elements.

Credit: http://www.spiritanimal.info/frog-spirit-animal/

Blessings on your Journey of Love,

Sequoia Elisabeth

https://onenessministry.info/  &  https://transness.org/

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Now that I have Arrived

Tropical Trail Does transition ever end? For those who are transgender this question will likely be answered differently over time. I used to think that it would all be different once I transitioned to living as the woman I am. Wrong. Well I suppose things are very different, but the things which really matter have not changed. I am still basically the same person, inside. My personality has changed a bit, however my thoughts and beliefs have not. If any change has occurred there it has nothing to do with being transgender. Thoughts and beliefs change because we choose them too. So let me get into the power of chemical wonder, hormones. You are what you eat and if you are taking hormones or even if you are getting them through the environment, food, drink, etc. things will change drastically. The question of which comes first is hard to prove if not impossible. Are we transgender because of environmental chemical influence or because of genetic, inborn causes? I feel it is a combination of both. And most likely it is a different combination of both for each of us. During transition our outer world and appearance changes drastically, but as for the inner world, not so much.  So let’s make sure we are clear here, I am speaking of gender. My gender has not changed and is clearer now, so the success here is that I now know myself better than I ever have! Perhaps this is the point of the whole experience.

What is not so clear is my sexuality. I am attracted to the female form more so than the male form, but both are beautiful and enjoyable. The most attract feature to me is personality and chemistry. Certain people are just exciting to me for reasons I have no clue. So by definition this makes me Pansexual although lately I have chosen asexuality. All the books I read insist that sexual orientation is fixed at birth so who am I to argue? I will say that social expectation is a strong factor in shaping the behavior of an individual, especially when they are young. The fear of persecution has lead many a person astray, including myself. So now that I have arrived, (lol) Who am I? I am the same person who started this journey only I am more aware of my nature and my desires. I am a person who dresses and acts a certain way whether it conforms to social construct or not. I am a person who is being the most loving I know how and seeking to expand this state of being. I choose Love and forgive any other perception. I live in a loving world and for this I am deeply grateful.

Sequoia Elisabeth

OnenessMinistry.info and Transness.org

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Like a Reversible Sweater

Human beings are like a reversible sweater.  They have both a man and a woman within each of them or if you prefer a feminine and a masculine.  This has nothing to do with sex which is nothing more than the physical aspect of the body.  It is time we started thinking of human life as multiphasic.  We each have many levels which shift and flow over time, some of us more than others of course.  Some never reverse their sweater and thus never get to know their full self.  Part of doing inner exploration is opening all the doors without fear and embracing what you find.  The spirit of acceptance without any preconceived ideas of what is proper or right is a must.  The idea of congruence must also be questioned.  Why do men have to have penises and women vaginas?  Like I said sex and reproduction is a whole other topic and at this stage of the game is becoming irrelevant with over 7 billion people on earth.  So let us move on beyond this primal need to replicate.  Instead let us get to know the self before we go about making more selves.

What I know is that there is much more to life than this concept of “me”.  I exist beyond this body and will always exist with or without the body I currently experience as “me”.  I am not “me”, nor am I “you”.  We are One.  The understanding of Oneness changes the entire game… it changes everything!  There is no “me” or “you”, only we.  Like a kaleidoscope of humanness we are constantly shifting and morphing, so to get stuck on one expression of this is a game ender.  The meaning we place on words is not fixed, but many think that it is.  You are not the “you” you believe yourself to be!!  Let it go.  And above all else stop trying to “fix” yourself.  We are here to discover (dis-cover) who we are, not to manipulate or manufacture a self (a false self).  Surgery, drugs, and other external methods just end up hiding the true self, the authentic self.  Please do not be drawn into this game of the “six-million dollar person”.  No other can make you better than you already are!  Love that which is the self.  In order to do this you must really get down and see yourself… look within, without expectations, fear, or limits.  Feel who you are… close your eyes and be not deceived.  Let the Journey begin… once again, for like all journeys they tend to repeat.

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How Far to Take Your Transition

How far to take your Transition

This is both an easy question to answer and a complicated one.  The short answer is as far as you wish.  The long answer includes the questions, Why am I doing this?  What is my end goal? And just Who am I?

Knowing your dreams and goals are key to success of any kind.  Transition is no different.  This is not about wants or even needs, but desires.  “Do not confuse desire with expectation, or with need. Desire has an entirely different quality to it. You can desire something without needing or requiring it. That little difference makes everything work. That little difference is the whole trick. Desire, do not Require. To desire propels. To require compels. Life will not be compelled, but it can be coaxed…” (Neale Donald Walsch)

The question of why is often a wild goose chase, however the ego seems to thrive on this question so answer it.  Why are you transitioning?   Be thorough in your answer too.  Think of every aspect of your life which motivates your actions.  Why do you feel incongruent?  Is this really it or are you making excuses now?  Life is an experience so feel the experience and make note of all those moments which elate you.  Focus on the good feelings, but do not get the idea this is what it is all about.

What is your end goal in transition and how important is it to succeed?  From my experience the end goal shifted as I transitioned.  I was not willing to do all it took to reach what I thought was my end goal.  The point here is I was influenced by my environment and as I grew in understanding my goals shifted.  This is a personal choice for each of us, so stick to your desires.  Hormones and Surgery are tools to enhance the experience, just remember they come at a high price (not only $$$ either).  There are no right ways to transition, only your way.

Ultimately transition comes down to expressing who you are, …if you can figure that out.  So just Who are YOU?  My experience tells me that I am not a body, but a Spiritual Being. So, on this level of form I am constantly changing.  Each day is a new day!!  Be on the lookout for cycles also.  Life moves in cycles and they tend to repeat.  Make everything Ok, meaning accept who you are in that particular moment and enjoy it.  While things tend to repeat it’s only because you need that lesson again.  This is a beautiful paradox.  You can do the same thing a 100 times and each experience is slightly different and yet the experiences we probably do not wish to repeat happen again and again unless you’re paying attention.  Did you catch that?  You are exactly where, who, and what you’re supposed to be in that moment.

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

Unity in Gender Diversity

 

 

 

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How is my Transition Serving Mankind?

How is my transition serving mankind?  And if it is not serving then why do it?

Gender transition comes in as many different flavors as there are people transitioning.  The standing authorities from WPATH as well as others say that CHT, contra-hormone therapy and GRS, genital realignment surgery are the best way to treat Gender Dysphoria.  My response to this is perhaps on a superficial and purely material plane, but we are not just animals or bodies.  We are multi-dimensional beings – Spiritual Beings who are having a human experience!

Metaphysics teaches us that we have a body at each level of the Chakra system. So gender transition is something we encounter in forth body. Before this it is incomprehensible and thus the reaction we get from so many others.  “The first four bodies and their chakras were split into two. The duality ends with the fifth body.  As I said before, the difference between male and female lasts until the fourth body; after that it ends. If we observe very closely all duality belongs to the male and the female. Where the distance between male and female is no more, at that very point all duality ceases. The fifth body is nondual. It does not have two possibilities but only one.” (Osho, The Seven Bodies and the Seven Chakras).

So from this we discover that Gender Dysphoria is simply a longing for Fifth Body.  It is our realization of non-duality!  It is not to be fixed then, but celebrated!  As we move from one point to another there is always an in between.  This can be uncomfortable and even painful.  However once you realize what is happening that you are only in between two points which on the human level are far apart the journey becomes easier and even fascinating.

My original question which started this blog has now morphed into a realization that transition does not serve mankind directly but only through the individual as they realize their oneness and find non-duality.  The why is simple then, because to get there we must go thru here.  The why is simply it is on the path.  There is no right or wrong way to get where you are going, so don’t fret over details like should I have surgery or not.  Do what feels best at the time and trust what the Universe offers up.  If you are meant to do something then the resources will be made manifest.  And if they do not appear it means all is well as it is.  We call this Faith.

Love n Light,

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

Unity in Gender Diversity

 

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Why Did You Transition?

Transition is a process everyone goes through at one point or another on the ‘Journey of Love’.  Speaking through the perspective of one who has transitioned gender I must question this entire process and I do quite often!  Here are my thoughts on the subject, mostly directed to other Trans* individuals.

Often I hear other Trans* people saying they transitioned to be themselves or to be true to their soul.  While I do believe this is true on the soul level, it is not the reason we transition on the physical level or even the emotional level.  Let’s be honest with each other here, esp. with yourself.  Just admit that you transitioned in an attempt to fit into society.  What you really desire is to “belong”.  There are always those who transitioned for the sex, but that is another story.

This is flawed on several levels.  First off, as a member of the Human Race you belong.  As a soul body you belong and are loved by many other souls, esp. those in your soul group.  Whether those souls are with you on this journey is not important.  Connection exists always, even and esp. after death.  You are never alone.

By our very nature we (trans*persons) are a contradiction to known and accepted norms, but in some way each individual is different.  No body fits in!  So I ask you, “what is the truth here?”, “why did you transition?”  Perhaps it was to make life easier or so you thought.  Here is my reasoning: I am very feminine anyway, so why shouldn’t I just be the feminine male was born as and stop hiding my feelings.  I used to tell myself, feminine men are sexy to other women, we have so much in common and it is easy to relate to one another.  This theory was supported in two marriages which did not fail till it came to sex.  In fact, those around me also supported this perspective, feminine men are attractive… just look at how many female friends gay men have!  OK, so that is all well and good, but I am not attracted to men, but to women.  Does this make me a lesbian?  A male lesbian just flies in the face of reason!

So being honest here, perhaps you are attracted to men, but this being unacceptable in the average hetero world, your feelings have been repressed or you are attracted to females strictly because you are in a male body.  So there you have it, a female brain, male genitalia and thus the confusion!  Do we follow the brain or the body?  This is of course not including the heart which in the end really runs the show.  So no we don’t transition for sex, this is about gender after all.

Incongruency is the real issue for Trans* persons.  The real honest reason we transition is in order to attain a livable level of congruency.   I am not convinced I will ever feel congruent in a human body, but there again that is another story.  Perhaps you feel the same way.  The bottom line is simply in order to relate in a dualistic world you must be one or the other and since you don’t fit where you are, then you must fit as the other!  Wrong!!

Here is another view point using history as our guide.  Diversity, variance, and random order are the very nature of life on earth.  There is no duality, but our society has forced one into existence and when you force things, they break.  Our society is broken in more ways than one.  Can we fix it?  Do we really want to?  It really is not hard you know.  Looking back Native peoples have embrace their Trans* members for the most part as they found their way depending on their inner nature.  Each culture naturally stratifies with each member finding their place based on the greater societal structure.  So where does this put Trans* members of our society (western society)?

What if from a personal perspective you simply accepted things as they are.  If your male yet feminine, then just accept that.  If you feel one way, but are equipped in the opposite then accept this as nature’s choice.  If you are Ok with it, others will be too.  At first you will probably experience resistance but with consistency things will change and you will find congruency with not only yourself but the world at large as well.  Surgery is a tool to make the illusion of this world seem congruent, but if you do not make this shift in your own consciousness all you have done is deepen your ego’s hold on you.  So when you say you are being true to yourself, then be honest and figure out who you are!  I can assure you it is not your ego!

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Polarity Speaking

Relationships can be complex with all the drama, expectations, and emotional turmoil involved, however they don’t need to be.  Simplicity is a welcome approach in all your best relationships. Sometimes we need the drama in order to work out karma and to get to know ourselves better, so these relationships usually happen early on in life.  The quicker you learn your lessons the less you need the complex relationships.

Each person has many facets to their being and we are here today to discuss the sexual aspect.  “The second chakra is the sacral chakra associated with sensual movement and with sexuality. The information contained in the second chakra relates to relationship, emotions, intimacy, sexuality, creativity, work and money.” (Candess, 2014)

One part of sexuality is attraction; some call this sexual orientation, although we are going to be a little more specific.  Polarity is “the state of having two opposite or contradictory tendencies, opinions, or aspects. The polarity between male and female” (Google, 2014) What we are speaking about today is the energy between us which we either find attractive or repulsive just like in a magnet.

Each person generates their own magnetic field which fluctuates over time and some can see this as their aura.  This can get a bit complicated so no worries if you don’t get it all first time through.  I am also not going to get terribly deep with this, so if you need to go deeper I suggest doing your research, meditating on Polarity, and experimenting with these principles.

Have you ever been with someone who you were intensely attracted to, who just ‘turned you on’ by being around them?  This is what I am talking about and I call this polarity.  If not, then perhaps you have negative polarity or your system just needs to be charged.  If you remember from high school, magnets are either (+) or (-) charged and attract their opposites.  On the human scale feminine is (-) and masculine (+).  Notice I did not say male or female here because sometimes males are (-) and females (+), we call this transgender.  Transgender also is often neutral or neuter in sexual terms.

So you can see the bit about sexual orientation is off base here, because this is set at birth.  You are attracted to opposite, same sex or somewhere in between and this is hard wired and cannot be changed.  What can be changed is your polarity!  Those who are good at this are bisexual or pansexual as I prefer to call them.  Bisexual as a word is deceptive because it implies only two sexes and as we all know by now that sex and gender are spectrums or scales, not either/or.

Polarity is really simple for heterosexuals because they are strongly charged and usually specifically attracted to certain people and as the scale shifts it gets more complicated in the middle and less complicated again on the other end of the spectrum at homosexual.  Remember that Gender, Sexual Orientation, and Polarity are separate aspects of second charka energy.  Where this becomes really important to understand is for the transgender person or Gender Queer who can find this very confusing.  It has taken me years to understand it!

What makes this information valuable is if you are neutral, potential does not exist for you.  Think in terms of electricity and magnets.  If your polarity is neutral you neither attract nor repel, so in relationships this negates any possibility for sexual attraction.  On the orientation scale this would be asexual.  So what I am saying is without potential, no work gets done.  This aspect of your life remains idle.  Sexual energy transfer is how we charge the system (by having sex).  Being charged up gives us energy and purpose driving our actions.  The masculine shares physical energy in this transfer and the feminine shares mental and emotional energy so if you have one in excess or deficiency this will drive your attraction toward those who can balance your energy.  A person can be strongly charged and still in balance which is the goal here I suppose.  Meaning you have an abundance of all three energies.

Test these concepts as I present them here and see for yourself how they are true for you.  I share from my own experience and understanding and certainly do not claim to know all.  I do find this fascinating though and encourage others to get to know themselves better also.

The question for me arises; did I transition to balance my energy?  Being male born and attracted to neither sex, I first was attracted to females (with some mental coercion from my psyche as to what is proper) and then later to males (so again the psyche pushed me to be of opposite sex).  As it ends up I identify as Pansexual, but then identity is just your perception of reality (if there really is one)!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity   For more on this topic read Sex and Sexuality

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E-motion Pictures

We are human and this means we feel emotion.  E-motion, energy in motion….  Is this all we are? Of course not, but this what makes us unique in this world.  When a person is immature emotions often get the better of them and as they grow they learn to harness this energy and direct its flow.  It is a tool for deepening appreciation and understanding of life itself.  Would you be afraid of a hammer or a pencil?  Of course not, they are simply tools for expression… for creating.  Emotions are also this … a tool for creating, expressing, and appreciating.  Even though emotions are only one aspect of our being we must learn to respect this aspect and indeed embrace this gift of being human.

With all this being said, there is a wonderful creation we have made to honor, practice, and appreciate the emotions of mankind, The Motion Picture!  Today it comes in many forms from home video & webcam to TV & Movies.  There is no greater tool for learning and appreciating emotion than this medium of TV & Movies.  And let us remember in the beginning they were called Motion Pictures for a very simple reason.  In fact they are E-Motion in Pictures.  So if a movie or television show does not bring out your emotions, I posit it does not deserve to be viewed and that it has failed its purpose.  When I watch a show I use two markers for success, one being that the show makes me laugh, and the other is I feel the need to cry.  The tears may be of joy, but if you are not crying then you are not connecting to your emotional drivetrain.  The key word here is feeling.  The shows you watch should make you feel and the deeper the better!

Now that you are connected to your inner feelings we can move on to the positive and negative of emotion.  Does it matter which type you are feeling?  Of course it does!  Negative feelings are important to sort out and movies can really help you do this without the dire consequences of doing it in person.  Do you know what envy feels like?  How about jealousy?  These are powerful emotions and learning to deal with them constructively is a prerequisite for Spiritual growth and for living peacefully in this world.  Will you need to sort through these emotions in person? Yes and if you have a good understanding of them from watching movies the process is less harmful and more beneficial.  The same can be said for positive emotions like love and respect.

The Universe provides all you need to grow and prosper.  Movies are a valuable part of the process when used consciously.  Never fear your emotions, nor should you avoid feeling them.  Allow them to flow and you will be the better for it.  When you make this a conscious process more the better!  I bless you on your Journey of Love and happy viewing.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     Excellent article on The Five Natural Emotions

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Acceptance is Key… Revisited

Transition is a journey, whether the transition is gender (identity) related, materially related, or spiritually related. Preparation helps all go smoothly, while being ready to handle the unexpected becomes a valued skill.  Learning to accept what you have and working with it is both the beginning and the end of the journey.  The “what you have” is dynamic as is the journey.  So let’s begin.

First of all find out who you are.  This is not as simple as it may seem.  The person you see in the mirror is not necessarily who you are.  The body is simply a vehicle rather than who you are.  Just like your car is not who you are, neither is your body.  Getting to the point where you are happy (accept) with the image in the mirror and with yourself is sometimes a long road.  There is no right way to get there, so leave the GPS at home and use your intuition instead.

Introspection comes easily for some of us and much harder for others, so if you are one of those who does not like to look within, then this will be even more important to you, although you may need to get help.

The journey goes something like this, look in the mirror, what do you see?  Ok, this is your vehicle.  It was given you for a reason and most likely that reason is that it will take you where you need to go, not necessarily where you want to go.  Accept this gift!  Right here and now, STOP thinking you know where you are going.  Stop thinking you know who you are.  Let go of any preconceptions you may have acquired.  Each day is a new day and one with the potential to discover your true self.

Now that you have discovered your vehicle, go take it for a ride.  Test the cornering ability, the acceleration, and the stopping distance.  See how good you are at changing situations, demands on your services or skills.  On the road keep a notebook with you and record your best features, skills, and attributes.  Get to know what you are good at and what you need work on.  Accept where you are as perfect in this moment, all is well.

You have a long list now and are ready to pursue this even further.  Stay focused on the desirable features, skills, and attributes, the ones you put on your list and have already accepted.  Staying motivated at this level is about focusing on your goodness and forgiving all else.  If you noticed any undesirable attributes on the list you can acknowledge them, thank them for being a part of you, and then let them go.  To symbolize this write them down on a piece of paper.  In a safe location, burn the paper while focusing on gratitude – be grateful for the learning they afforded you.  Everything in your life serves a purpose so be grateful while at the same time do not get attached to them.  For instance, fat is often a shield we use to protect us from perceived danger or undesirable situations.  Notice I did not say “real” danger.  Once you become comfortable with the situations in your life and can accept your gifts of physical beauty and vigor then life supports this reality.  It all starts with your acceptance and willingness to see the beauty no matter your perceptions.

What is next for you?  Be optimistic and joyful, you have just let go of all your troubles.  The process continues and goes deeper each time.  Accept and repeat.  Life will evolve and get better and better!  Before you know it love and acceptance will exist in you on a deeper level than you even knew existed!  As this occurs your experience in the outer world conforms and reflects this reality.  The only real way to change the world is to change yourself!  The world is just you reflected!

Remember a few things along the way.  Everything happens for a reason, resistance is futile, and everyone is going through a similar journey, so give them what you would wish in return, acceptance.  Joy is in the journey!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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One Raindrop Raises The Sea

What is your story and how does it fit into the larger societal story.  Think of yourself as a pebble which just got dropped into a still pond.  There is your ripple, and as they move out they include the birth family ripple, your friends ripple, the community you live in ripple, … your state, country/nationality, etc. etc.  The ripples never stop and extend far beyond this place we call earth.  Each ripple is an identity with its own story.  If you have ever played in the bathtub, a pond, or sat by an enclosed bay you know the ripples will bounce off each other creating a “chop” or chaotic wave pattern.  This is how life is; we are each one ripple in the mighty waves of the much greater ocean.

So what if you wish to change your story or perhaps you have a certain view of your story and everyone else has theirs.  For instance, you see yourself as an easy going, creative person with a deep insight into the workings of the world and your family and perhaps friends see you as a mentally ill, free loader with their head in the clouds all the time.  We each have a story.  Just how these stories mesh is not always neat and smooth.  Any teenager can tell you that!  The real question is does their version of your story matter to you?  The answer I stick with is; “what you think of me is none of my business”, however, it does matter in the big scheme of things.  Not so much to you but to them.  How you think of another, you actually believe about yourself.  So their story of you reflects back on them.  All you can do is accept them for who they present and get on with living your life.

The dynamics of relationships can get complicated really fast, just as the ripples do in the bathtub.   It’s not your task to calm the waves.  Your task is to ride them out and forgive those who trespass against you.  Your task is to support your own story and allow them to have theirs.  Just don’t be fooled into thinking you can change your story without also affecting theirs!!

Coming out for any reason sends shock waves in all directions.  It is like doing a cannonball right in the middle of the pool!  The reason does not matter, it could be coming out as gay, transgender, having some disease, being mentally ill, or even harboring radial beliefs.  If your inner circle does not also relate then your story change will exclude them.  It is like the repulsion of a magnet.  With time it is possible for alignment to occur, if and only if, they accept your story.

One could say it is just a story.  Why do you want to mess up my story by changing yours?  This is not fair to the rest of us.  I call this an invitation to take a guilt trip, but to take this trip you must first buy a ticket.  There is no need to give in to others.  We can all have a story (and do) and still respect others and their story (this is up to you).  So the plot changes from time to time.  Plot twists make it all the more interesting!

It is never ‘just’ a story.  Your story is vital to the workings of this world and without it we are all diminished.  Think of yourself as one candle and everyone else each being a candle.  Together we are as bright as the sun, removing one candle diminishes the whole or to put it another way, quoting Dinotopia, one of my favorite stories, “One raindrop raises the sea.”

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

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Birth Reality

To start let’s get one thing clear, much of this physical world makes no sense.  Let’s take Birth certificates for instance.  The Government and other agencies often use this document to verify identity and as proof of sex.  But just what is this document really?

Taken very simply it is a document created at your birth and records your perceived sex based on physical examination by a physician.  Usually your relative health is documented, a foot print is taken, the date and time is recorded and for all posterity you exist!

Eighteen years later or more this document is used to verify your identity, but the foot print is no longer useful as you have grown too much.  Surgery can change the physical sex, so this is no longer a valid verification of your present identity.  You could have healed any wounds present at birth depending on how severe, so this is not necessarily a measure of identity.

So what we really have here is documentation of your identity/condition at birth and does nothing to prove who you are now so many years later.  It really is a worthless document.  So why is it required to get a passport for instance?

The other issue which confounds me is why the Transgender population is up in arms over the inability to change this worthless document in four US states?  I just happen to be from one of these states and I could care less what this document says because it is no longer valid!  I am not that person any longer.  In fifty plus years I have changed tremendously, and in fact every cell in my body has been replaced multiple times!    It has even been proven now that our DNA changes over time and with the effects of the environment, so I ask again, why do we give so much weight to a historical document?

The best course of action for those concerned is to “go with the flow”.  Simply find a way around the absurd laws our society has created.  If you are so moved, then go out and fight to change these laws, but certainly do not allow these absurdities to disrupt your path or create disharmony in your life.

To truly live in the now we must operate as best we can from this point and not some past idea or future goal.  Yes, we remember the past and focus on future goals, but not as some concrete reality, but as an ideal.  Life is an experience … a feeling.  This is what we mean by the Now.  Know in your heart who you are and express this at every opportunity, not to impress others but to fulfill your inner being.  Life is too rich to be diluted with inconsistencies.

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

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Transgender Is A Noun

The word Transgender is a noun and is not to be used as an adjective.  It is not a description per se, but a state of being.  I doubt you would ever call yourself maned or womaned, or even manized or womanized.  Gender is a state of being, it is not a condition.  This is not temporary within this lifetime.  This is the way we are born and the way in which we must live our entire lives!!

Identity is something unique to the human race or third density, because the very definition of third density is being self-aware and thus being aware of our identity.  A cat does not know it’s a cat, it just is.  The same goes for all animals because they are second density or not yet self-aware.  These concepts are not new or unique and I got my grasp on them through the 5 books “Law of One – The RA Material”.

Evolution is a path we are all on and even in the 3rd density some are just entering and others are in the process of shifting to 4th density and beyond.  Once a person evolves to 4th density they remain aware of the lower densities, but cannot see beyond where they are on the path.  This is the nature of evolution, so does this mean we move forward blindly groping in the dark?  No.  We have tools to navigate the unknown and the most useful I think is emotion/feeling.  The tools of the mind have been discussed in length on this blog so I will not go into each one and instead invite you to read “the Six Senses of the Mind” first published 6/30/2010.

What does identity consist of?  What are the degrees of identity if this is possible?  My answer is we start with Humanity, we are human.  This in itself is a major distinction even in this world.  We each have gender, man, woman, or transgender. (others may exist, it is your identity after all).  We each have race or ancestry and we each have socio-economic status.  We are born into these and to a great extent will have these the rest of our lives.  I know the last one is debatable, but when you really think about it 99% of the human race never change their socio-economic status.  How do you identify?  Traits can be a very long list, but do blue eyes really make you who you are?  Does gender?

The purpose here in this blog is to trigger a questioning and deeper exploration of identity. To invite you to clarify who you are and in the process perhaps broaden your definitions and connections.  I mean the ultimate identity is the One – God, Source Intelligence, Creator of all there is.  We are each an individuation of this One Source and part of being self-aware is to expand and deepen our understanding of who we are.  To fully grasp our connection to source while maintaining our individuation!

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

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From One Closet To Another

Is it helpful to go from one closet to another?  MTF or FTM?  Isn’t the point of coming out to stay out?  To define yourself as an individual and be proud of whom you are! This is an eternal question each person on the gender journey must resolve.  Perhaps the answer is not clear cut.  Perhaps this is the nature of being in question to begin with!

Gender when graphed looks like two mountains, one peak is male the other female.

gen_distrib Draw a vertical line through each peak and the area in between is the realm of transgender.  We fall in the middle and thus don’t really belong in either closet.  Also notice how quickly the lines fall off at the edges.  There are not many in the extremes of maleness or femaleness.  Easily sixty percent fall in the middle zone leaving the those who would consider themselves the majority surprisingly in error.

Of course there are other interpretations of this graph and it is not my place to define it for you, but only for myself.  So take this as an opinion and not fact.  There are no real facts, only perspectives and points of view.  So who are you?  How does that closet serve you?

closet hiding inPerhaps those who thought they were in a closet are in fact outside the closet and in reality it is the “mainstream” individual who lives in the closet, a strict definition of hetero/male or hetero/female which defines the closet.  The closet provides structure and perceived safety, but is in reality a trap of normalcy.

So, I ask you again… who are you?  How does that serve you?

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

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ACIM and Gary Renard

“Beware of the temptation to perceive yourself unfairly treated.  In this view, you seek to find an innocence that is not Theirs but yours alone, and at the cost of someone else’s guilt.  Can innocence be purchased by the giving of your guilt to someone else?” (Jesus)

There’s a capital T in Theirs because what they really are is innocent Spirit, beyond the veil.  But if you perceive yourself as unfairly treated, then you’re making everything real, which makes the entire ego thought system of guilt real in your mind.  The only way to find your innocence is to get that it’s not real and forgive others for what they have not done in reality. And since it never happened, you can then think of them as being innocent.  That’s the way to have it for yourself.  Never forget that.  It’s the only way out.  (Gary Renard, 2013 p.108)

If you perceive yourself as unfairly treated,

then you’re making everything real.

Just one of many insightful quotes from Gary Renard’s new book Love Has Forgotten No One.  Of the many ACIM teachers out there Gary is by far the easiest to understand and thus the most effective.  He makes the course enjoyable as well as comprehensible.  Of course to fully understand this book, reading the other two are required, but then no one said being an ACIM student was easy.  It takes at least a year to do the daily lessons and in reality is will take the rest of your life to fully grasp and apply the teachings.  This is only if you are dedicated also.  This does not give you an excuse to skip it altogether though.  As is stated in the beginning of the textbook, “”This is a course in miracles. It is a required course. Only the time you take it is voluntary. Free will does not mean that you can establish the curriculum. It means only that you can elect what you want to take at a given time. The course does not aim at teaching the meaning of love, for that is beyond what can be taught. It does aim, however, at removing the blocks to the awareness of love’s presence, which is your natural inheritance. The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite.” (A Course In Miracles, 1996, p.2)

If you are not already a student I recommend reading Gary’s three books first and then doing the course or perhaps if you are dedicated you could do Gary’s books while you do the workbook daily lessons.  Just be warned, your life will never be the same again!  This is a good thing.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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Transition is a Quest

Transition is a quest, a hero’s journey!  Since we all face a transition of some type be it gender identity, death, relationship, addiction, or some other, this means we each are on our own personal hero’s journey.   Joseph Campbell describes this journey in great detail and Anthony Ubelhor summarizes it nicely in the following.

The Hero’s Journey Defined

A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man. —Joseph Campbell, The Hero With a Thousand Faces

Joseph Campbell described the hero’s journey as occurring in a cycle consisting of three phases: Departure, where the hero leaves his comfortable and familiar world and ventures into the darkness of the unknown; Initiation, where the hero is subjected to a series of tests in which he must prove his character; and Return, in which the hero brings the boon of his quest back for the benefit of his people.

The hero’s journey is about growth and passage. The journey requires a separation from the comfortable, known world, and an initiation into a new level of awareness, skill, and responsibility, and then a return home. Each stage of the journey must be passed successfully if the initiate is to become a hero. To turn back at any stage is to reject the need to grow and mature.

Characteristics of the Hero

According to Campbell, the hero is someone who has given his life over to someone or something bigger than himself. Even in novels and films, the hero is someone who has found or done something beyond the normal range of achievement and experience. The following characteristics are typically found in the heroes of mythology:

• The hero is usually male. According to Campbell, women typically represent creation and ultimate wisdom and therefore do not need to make a journey. If a woman does go on a quest, traditionally it is to find her prince or mate.

• The hero often times is of lowly birth, but may secretly have special powers or a high birthright he is unaware of.

• The hero’s parents are often dead, absent, or uncaring. A hero usually can’t begin a journey to become a man if his father figure is still present.

• A hero is judged by the things he does and the way he reacts and relates to people. His deeds must be marked by a nobility of purpose, and he must be willing to risk his life for his ideals.

The Call to Adventure

The potential hero may receive his Call in a variety similar ways:

• The town leaders may select the initiate and order him to face danger so that his village can be saved from an evil fate like disease or famine.

• Often the initiate is told to go on a quest by a god or “force” — this usually happens in a dream or a vision.”

• The initiate may go willingly or may be forced by circumstance to go on the quest. The

Call is a realization of an imbalance or injustice. The Call often comes when something has been taken away from the potential hero’s or family or society. Similarly, the initiate might begin a journey because of a mistake — something is lost and he must find it.

• The Call may be a sensation on the part of the hero that something is lacking in his or her life and that he or she must search for what is missing.

• Another type of Call comes when the hero realizes that society is being denied something, and he or she goes on a quest to win rights for the people. Sometimes it is nothing more than the need to save honor.”

Joseph Campbell, key excerpts from his book The Hero With a Thousand Faces (Princeton, New Jersey: Princeton UP, 1949)

How does your life mirror the Hero’s Journey?  Are you being brave and moving forward?  Be gentle with yourself, and know there is no time limit to this journey.  Eventually everyone succeeds!  The other thing to keep in mind is each success is one step on the stairway to heaven.

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

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